What If You Still See Yourself as Who You Used to Be?

“So then, let us [who minister] be regarded as servants of Christ and stewards (trustees, administrators) of the mysteries of God [that He chooses to reveal].” 1 Corinthians 4:1 (AMP)

Dear Oikonomos (Steward),

Have you ever considered that one of the things standing between you and what God has called you to do might be how you see yourself?

I think we spend a great deal of time learning how to lead, how to make better decisions, how to develop our skills, and how to execute the plans and strategies we’ve created. And all of these things have their place. But I wonder how often we examine the lens through which we see ourselves, especially when God begins to call us into responsibilities that seem greater than what we believe we are capable of handling.

This is something the Lord has been showing me through the story of King Saul, and I want to share with you an observation that caused me to look at this familiar passage differently.

We know Saul as Israel’s first king, the man who was chosen and anointed but eventually lost the kingdom because of his disobedience. And because we already know how his story ended, I think it can be easy to read it from that perspective and miss some of the things that were happening along the way.

But there is something Samuel said to Saul in 1 Samuel 15:17 that caught my attention.

“Although you may think little of yourself, are you not the leader of the tribes of Israel? The LORD has anointed you king of Israel.” (NLT)

I want us to consider that question for a moment.

Why would Samuel remind a man who had already been anointed king that he was the leader of Israel? Saul had received his assignment. He had occupied the position, exercised authority, and led the people into battle. Yet Samuel’s words seem to suggest that there was still something about how Saul perceived himself that needed to be addressed.

And when we go back to the beginning of Saul’s story, we begin to see why this matters.

In 1 Samuel 9:21, when Samuel first spoke to Saul about what God intended to do, Saul responded by pointing to his background. He was from the tribe of Benjamin, one of the smallest tribes of Israel, and his family was among the least in that tribe.

That was how Saul introduced himself.

He understood where he came from, the position of his family, and what that meant within the social structure of Israel. And perhaps, until that moment, those were the things that had largely shaped his understanding of who he was.

But God was calling him into something that went beyond that understanding.

What I find particularly interesting is that Scripture tells us in 1 Samuel 10:9 that when Saul turned to leave Samuel, God gave him another heart.

Think about that.

God had already begun a work within Saul before he publicly stepped into the position of king. And yet, years later, Samuel would ask him why he thought so little of himself. I wonder how many of us are living with that same disconnect.

God has been working in our lives, transforming us, developing our capacity, preparing us for assignments, and opening doors that we may never have imagined walking through. Yet when the time comes to act, we continue to evaluate ourselves through the lens of who we used to be.

We remember our background, our limitations, our mistakes, the things we lacked growing up, or even the experiences that caused us to question our worth and abilities. And before we know it, those things begin to influence how we respond to what God is asking us to do.

I can relate to this in my own journey.

For years, I had a very clear picture of what I wanted to accomplish professionally. I studied law, and I imagined myself working in international human rights, perhaps at one of the international courts or within an organization like the United Nations. Whatever path I considered, I wanted to reach the highest level.

At the time, I saw that ambition as a natural expression of wanting to accomplish something meaningful, to make a difference, and to have an impact.

And there is certainly nothing wrong with aspiring to positions of responsibility and influence. But as the Lord began to work in my heart, I had to examine why reaching those positions was so important to me.

I began to recognize that some of my ambitions were connected to experiences, insecurities, and things I had felt were missing in my life. There were things I wanted to accomplish because of what I believed those accomplishments would mean about me.

That realization was important because it helped me see how easily our personal experiences can influence what we pursue, how we define success, and even how we interpret God’s calling. And I think that is something we must pay attention to as leaders.

We all bring something of ourselves into the places where God has called us to serve. We bring our experiences, our education, our understanding, our expectations, and sometimes wounds we may not even realize are still influencing us.

If we are not careful, we can begin to lead from those places without recognizing how they are shaping our decisions.

When Samuel confronted Saul in 1 Samuel 15, Saul had failed to carry out the instructions God had given him concerning the Amalekites. He had preserved King Agag and the best of the livestock, even though the instructions had been clear.

What interests me is the connection between Samuel’s reminder of Saul’s identity and his failure to obey. Samuel reminded Saul that God had anointed him king and sent him on a mission. In other words, Saul had been given both an identity and an assignment, but his actions were no longer aligned with what God had spoken.

And that raises a question I believe every leader needs to consider.

Is the way you see yourself aligned with what God has said about you?

Because how we see ourselves influences how we understand our responsibilities, how we respond to challenges, and the decisions we make when we find ourselves under pressure.

If I continue to see myself only through the limitations of my past, I may struggle to exercise the authority and responsibility God has entrusted to me today.

And if I begin to define myself by my accomplishments or position, I may become more concerned with preserving those things than remaining faithful to the One who entrusted them to me.

This is why I believe developing our Spiritual Intelligence begins with our ability to see.

To recognize what God is doing, to understand what He has entrusted to us, and to see ourselves through the lens of His Word.

In Genesis 1:26, God declared that He would make mankind in His image and according to His likeness. That word tzelem Elohim, the image of God, speaks to something fundamental about our identity and our purpose.

We were created to represent Him. And through Christ, we are being transformed to reflect His image in the way we live, think, relate to others, and fulfill our responsibilities.

I think sometimes we become so focused on what we are called to accomplish that we overlook the importance of who we are becoming in the process.

We want to know what God is asking us to build, where He is sending us, what decisions we need to make, and what steps we should take next. But perhaps one of the first questions we should be asking is whether we are seeing those things, and ourselves, correctly. Because our actions will often reveal what we truly believe, even when our words say something different.

Saul had been anointed king, but when his leadership was tested, his decisions revealed areas where his perception and response were still misaligned with God’s instructions. And I wonder what our own decisions might reveal about how we see ourselves and the God who has called us.

Do we trust Him enough to remain within the boundaries of our assignment, even when we have the ability or opportunity to do more?

Do we believe that what He has entrusted to us is sufficient for the responsibility He has placed upon us?

Can we recognize the work He has already done within us, even when we don’t feel particularly different?

I love that Scripture tells us God gave Saul another heart. The transformation began within him before the fullness of his assignment became visible.

And I believe there is something there for us to consider.

Sometimes we are waiting to feel ready, to become more confident, or to see more evidence of our abilities before stepping fully into what God has called us to do. Meanwhile, God has already been doing a work in us that we have yet to recognize.

My prayer is that we would learn to see that work, with humility and gratitude, and allow it to shape the way we lead.

Because if we are going to represent God in the places where He has positioned us, we must be willing to see ourselves, our assignments, and the people entrusted to us through His perspective.

And that begins with allowing Him to correct our sight.

So, I leave you with this question: When you look at yourself today, are you seeing the person God has been making you, or are you still seeing the person you used to be?

Camille

P.S. I explore this further in this week’s episode of The SQ Factor Podcast, where we look at King Saul’s story and why our ability to see is foundational to developing Spiritual Intelligence.

And if you’re a leader or entrepreneur who desires to grow in your understanding of God’s Word and learn to apply it to how you build, and lead, I’d love to invite you to join us for ACTIVATE, our free weekly virtual Bible study, beginning Monday, November 2, at 7 PM Central. We’ll gather for guided teaching and open Bible discussions.

You can register at https://www.camillebabin.com/activate.